Relational difficulty, disagreements, arguments, misunderstandings, no matter what you call it, it sucks. Whether it is myself, or someone I love, that fact of the matter is I don't like it.
My problem is that over the years I have become addicted to conflict. It is not that I go looking for it, but the fact that if finds me, has changed me over the years. Having spent 7 long years as an over the road truck driver, I have seen a more caustic side of my personality come out. I am very introverted by nature, but I love being around people. I have, for one reason or another had a lot of relational opportunities of different types over the years. The fact that I am addicted to it comes more from walking through it with others. I have had the privilege of walking through relational conflict with some of the bravest people I know who have committed themselves to reconciliation. As we have walked out the other side of those reconciliation experiences, I have witnessed a transformation in not only their lives, but myself as well. As they have done the hard work of talking, crying, laughing, yes laughing, through the often deep quagmire of relational reconciliation, they have been changed, and the lives of the people they have been in conflict with have changed. They not only see the other party in a new light, but they also see themselves differently too. Most of the time they understand more deeply how different we all really are. They have begun to appreciate more that it is often more about "difference" than "right or wrong".
When we stop long enough to look at conflict as an Opportunity our whole perspective on everything begins to change. When we stop long enough to alter our focus off ourselves and decide that we will focus on giving God Glory in the midst of our chaos, we gain a whole new insight on the process.